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#iwillwhatiwant
It has been exactly 30 days since I signed up to run the Penang Bridge Half Marathon in Malaysia and a lot has happened since then. Being as pumped as I was/am to have signed up and taken this new challenge (to not only complete the half but run it in 2hrs or less); the teacher in me has spent the last month doing some needed 'pre-assessment'. Here's what I've found. My upper body is weaker than I thought.Not just weaker, my muscle mass has disappeared and I'm struggling with the basics. I have to retrain myself to not hold all my weight on my shoulders. I have to hold my posture when I run, remember to hold my core in at each stride. And most importantly, I need to make sure that to get strong to do all these things, I need to do the right exercises for me. For instance, I tried doing burpees the other day? Um, not ready for those. Besides my chest feeling like it had zero support at each jump, my arms could barely hold me when coming down for the push up. Not to mention my belly hitting the ground when my arms gave out... my c-section scar burned after my attempt at 10. It was painful and not good painful. So, here's my plan for the next 30 days:
My legs aren't that better.They used to be my constant! But after pregnancy, my thighs, joints, ankles and feet took a hit. It wasn't until I started consistently hitting the pavement that I realised how big of a hit. Not to mention the fact that I think I've been running with the wrong shoes. It makes sense when I think about it: my legs are different therefore my stride is, thus I need a new type of running shoe. The problem is I'm not sure where to start or which ones to get. I've been loyal to Asics and had a great New Balance experience, but I think I need more stability and cushioning. So here's my plan for the next 30 days: Do research on a new running shoe. Read posts online by beginner and expert runners alike, watch reviews of different running shoes online and ask around my running community. Staring with you reader, any suggestions on a new running shoe? My pace is crazy slow for my goal time.I have 222 days to improve my current average pace of 7min/Km. If I want to achieve my goal in Penang, I need to be able to finish each kilometer in 5mins and 45seconds. Now that seems almost unattainable right now... I can hear it already: The little monster of insecurity creeping into my ear. "There's no way..." it whispers; "...you can't do it..." So, here's my plan for the next 30 days: Realistically, as I get stronger and gain muscle mass, I have to lose some of the unnecessary weight I've been carrying. So yesterday I started a one week juice program to get my energy up, and cut processed sugars from daily consumption. Right now I'm a hefty 73kg and I need to bring that down to at least 68kg by mid May. I can do it. Shut up insecurity, shut up. I need to continue to be kind to myself.The other day my husband took me on a semi-date to a batting cage. I played semi-pro softball when I was a teenager and it was some of the most accomplished I've ever felt in my life. The first time I ever held a bat and stepped on a plate, I was pitched a (varsity fast) ball and I hit a home run. My first time. Ever. I was only 13 years old and the youngest to be asked to play in the varsity team. I became third bat and starting shortstop. My coach said I was a natural.
Back to the batting cage, I hadn't held a bat in more than a decade. It felt good to hold a bat, swing and hit. It felt, natural! As a point of pride that I was hitting 70% of balls the machine pitched, my husband took a video of me batting. When I saw it, my face and my confidence fell. I looked out of shape and weak. There were no signs of muscle in my arms or back, or toning on either my legs or core. I had a fleeting moment of "What the f*** Cecilia?!" and proceeded to daydream about the possibility of crash diets and longer runs. Sigh. So I need to be kinder to myself in order to keep me going on this journey. This journey I tell ya. It's a tricky thing to be on it. I stumble all the time and get right back up. I set goals, take on challenges; I fail and I succeed. So here's my plan starting immediately: Take a deep breath and keep going.
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Ceci Gomez-GalvezOriginally from Guatemala, I've been living overseas for 11 years (Italy, China). I'm a runner who learns at every step. |